Studio Talk #6: Free-falling

This is going to be a very brief entry because I have really juicy news coming soon, but I wanted to share with those of you who don't already know, that I am finally...

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OFFICIALLY

FULL-TIME

MAKER!!!

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I left my job last week and am happier than ever to be spending the majority of my days making jewelry, doing outreach to new shops and galleries, and planning for the holiday season. 

And, of course, taking cute pics of Ana and Wiggy. 

I mean, can you even...?

 

But this is seriously the scariest damn thing I've ever done. And, if you ask all my ex's, I'm sure none of them could have seen this coming, because Ryan-Ashley does not take risks. What would they say? Probably that I spend so much time working and in the studio that relationships pass me by without my even knowing it.

Ok, that's not completely true. I do notice. And being left wrecks me. But the pain of heartbreak has just never been enough to pull my nose away from the grindstone. Because the most important thing has always been to just keep chipping away at my dream. 

So here I am, rationing my food, drinking box wine, and keeping the lights low... because I don't really know where the money is going to come from (but I'm so excited to find out!). One minute it feels like I'm free-falling but with a parachute I can let at any moment, while the next minute has me feeling like I'm careening into a rocky abyss.

But, somehow, I'm not scared. Somehow, I'm finding ways to trust that my skills and work ethic will carry me and S+B to a sustainable place. I'm trusting that orders will come in and wholesalers will come through when things get tight. And I'm able to do that because I've worked so long for this and I'm totally pouring myself in. And I can't really give any more than that, so it's got to be enough... right? 

Moving to Knoxville was pretty scary at first, also. The move was on the heels of a terrible break-up and the only people I kind of knew here I'd met just twice before.

But now, less than a year later, this place has taken me in as one of its own and I have a more vibrant, more full social life than I ever thought was possible. I've received so much love and support since I moved here that there isn't even room for the pain I was feeling when I arrived.

Looking at that trajectory gives me hope that this solo entrepreneurial makers path is going to love me as much as I love it, or, if it doesn't, at least it will hopefully pay the bills????? 

So here's to being a little less Type A. I've chosen the unknown, but if the past two years are any indication of what's ahead, I have a lot to look forward to. 

Thanks for loving me, Knoxville. <3<3